


hI iM yOuR nUmBeR nEiGhBoR

by Rare_pair_princess



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Flirting, M/M, Sexual Humor, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24062491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rare_pair_princess/pseuds/Rare_pair_princess
Summary: Matsukawa decides to text his number neighborThat's it
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei
Comments: 9
Kudos: 58





	hI iM yOuR nUmBeR nEiGhBoR

**Author's Note:**

> So uhhhhh read this with EXTREMELY low expectations pls
> 
> I wrote this when I was very very bored and it was going be a stupid one shot but then I thought of a plot so

[11:13am] <unknown>\- hello, my number neighbor

[12:32pm] me- please, stay on your side of the fence

[12:34] <unknown>\- but i brought brownies

[12:34] me- i prefer cream puffs, but i suppose brownies will do…

[12:35] me- are they laced?

[12:37] <unknown>\- i am the epitome of purity. of course not! jusr what would ur mother think

[12:40] me- i am 69 years old, my mother would hardly care

[12:41] <unknown>\- and what would she think about that sex joke? Jeez, kids these days.

[12:43] me- ;)

[12:43] me- i am a legal, consenting adult

[12:44] <unknown>\- bruh same

[12:45] <unknown>\- so, dear number neighbor, now that we’re neighbors and i’ve introduced my self

[12:46] me- you have done no such thing. The only greeting i got was hello, and also not laced brownies

[12:46] me- i don’t even know if you sleep on the left side or the right side of the bed, if you prefer rick or morty, what your favorite vine is! If u consider what you did an introduction, i dont know if I can invest in this life-long friendship

[12:47] <unknown>\- invest in my dick

[12:59] <unknown>\- k fine, lemme try again. Just for you

[1:01] <unknown>\- Hello, my dear and wonderful neighbor! I am Matsukawa Issei, a sexy single in your area! I dont have a preferred side of the bed because i’m not weird! And about the other information, it’s much to private for me to indulge to you. Far too intimate. For now ;)

[1:09] me- whats with the sudden spaz of flirting, dear and wonderful neighbor

[1:10] Mattsun- i think i can safely say your in my age group, dear and wonderful number neighbor

[1:11] me- just what the hell does that mean 

[1:11] me- and just what is this age group

[1:11] me- for scientific reasons

[1:12] Mattsun- oh dear so forward. we’re moving so fast

[1:12] Mattsun- 18 

[1:13] me- oh my we have so much in common

[1:13] me- and now i bid you goodnight

[1:15] Mattsun- sweet dreams, dear and wonderful number neighbor

  
  
  
  


[10:12am] me- good morning, dear and wonderful number neighbor

[10:34] Mattsun- I want Sonic to fuck me

[10:34] Mattsun- *Hello, good morning.

[10:34] Mattsun- Apologies. Autocorrect, ammiright.

[10:36] me- bro thats kinda gay

[10:37] Mattsun- bro Im kinda gay

[10:38] me- bro

[10:38] Mattsun- bro

  
  
  


[10:42pm] Mattsun- i thik that its completely unfair

[10:45] me- how hot i am?

[10:46] Mattsun- i have never seen you in my life, but im certain im the sexier being.

[10:47] Mattsun- whats unfair, dear, is that i dont know your name 

[10:47] Mattsun- :( :( :( :( ;-; ;-; ;-; ;^;

[10:48] me- you can just call me

[10:49] me- …

[10:49] Mattsun- call you what?

[10:50] me- My fucking god, Mattsun, you interrupted me!!!!!

[10:50] Mattsun- did you just call me Mattsun?

[10:51] me- d i d i s t u t t e r

[10:52] me- t y p o*

[10:54] Mattsun- lol

[10:54] Mattsun- you hav a cute nickname for me but i dont even haev any name for you! This is hipocracy! This is illegal!

[10:55] me- right right

[10:55] me- you can call me…

[10:55] me- < _ image attatched _ >

[10:55] me- daddy ;)

[10:59] Mattsun- is your hair pink or brown

[11:00] me- who knows? It's a universal mystery. My parents couldn't agree on which color it was and that's why they got a divorce 

[11:01] Mattsun- you okay dude?

[11:02] me- no

[11:02] me- thanks for asking

[11:03] Mattsun- anything for you, daddy

  
  
  


[3:32pm] Mattsun- I'm going to add you to a group chat, play along

[3:33] me- k

  
  
  


Oikawa Tooru fanclub 

  
  


Mattsun  a dded you to  _ Oikawa Tooru fanclub _

Mattsun changed the name to  _ volley my balls _

[3:40] Mattsun- Oikawaaaaaa I added Sugawara to the chat! You owe me ¥1000! Told you i could get hus number

[3:43] Unknown- Matsu-chan!!!! 

[3:43] Unknown- Hello Suga-chan! Sorry this asshole ever bothered you!

[3:44] Unknown- but you must not be too upset, because now you have my number!! Yay for you!!

[3:45] Unknown- shut the hell up, loserkawa

  
  


Mattsun

[3:46] me- I know an actual Sugawara lol

[3:46] me- I'll just act like him

[3:47Mattsun- rewlly lol what's his given name?

  
  


volley my balls

[3:47] me- NEGATIVITY

[3:47] me- BEGONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[3:48] Loserkawa- you tell him, Suga-chan!

[3:48] unknown- shit Matsu you actually got his number?

[3:49] Mattsun- of course I did! I find your lack of faith disturbing

[3:50] me- was that a star wars reference?

[3:51] Loserkawa- you like star wars???? 

[3:52] Loserkawa- Suga-chan!!! We're meant to be!!!

[3:53] unknown- embarassingkawa, stop bothering Sugawara-san

[3:53] Loserkawa- so mean, iwa-chan! You are so mean! Who would be BOTHERED by me??

  
  
  


Mattsun

[3:54] Mattsun- its koushi, isn't it.

[3:55] Mattsun- negativity begone is koushis thing

[3:56] me- bro

[3:56] Mattsun- bro

**Author's Note:**

> I dont think I can write anything without adding OiSuga is some way, shape, or form. I really can't. I'm so sorry.


End file.
